Uwe Boll has built up a reputation over the years as one of the worst director’s making films today.  To be honest here though, while movies like Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead were definitely shit, there’s definitely much MUCH worse lurking on the shelves of any video store (check out the DTV B.T.K. Killer movie sometime and I bet you don't last 5 minutes into that turd).  But then Uwe released Postal, and while it essentially had nothing at all to do with the game, it was a genuinely funny, over the top with the bad taste, comedy.  My brother then pointed me in the direction of this little ditty, by the title of Rampage.

The funny thing about Rampage is that as much as I liked Postal, this is the fucking movie Postal should have been.  In fact they could just swap titles and you’d have a great, and surprisingly serious rendition of the original Postal game (more or less, a little more meat to this and much less of the sick black humour).

The movie stars Brendan Fletcher.  You probably don’t know who that is, but he’s the other guy that escapes from the mental asylum in Freddy vs Jason if that helps.  If not, then I guess go see Freddy vs Jason then.  In it he plays a frustrated “kipper” (it's British slang for people in their mid 20’s to early 30’s still living at home mooching off their parents, look it up) who seems to get really bothered when his parents want to help him get an apartment and move out because apparently he’d rather bum around at home, eat fried chicken and slack off at his mechanic job.  Oh, and listen tohis buddy on the net preach militant type shit about how the world is going into the toilet (most of which is pretty much true, although I must say the irony of watching a guy bitch about how plasma TV’s are bullshit  on a plasma TV was pretty funny).

Seems our “hero” Bill Williamson (Fletcher) is more than a little annoyed with his parents.  He’s pissed off at the whole world, and especially pissed about that dude he listens to on the net because he’s all talk, but Bill means to do.  And do he does, when he dresses up in an armour plated SWAT type uniform, straps on a couple of machine guns and proceeds to go on a “title of the movie” in the streets of his town.  The movie’s cool though because it seems like he actually thought this thing through decently well as he first rigs up a remote controlled van full of fertilizer explosives and drives it smack dab into the front doors of the police station ala The Terminator and then detonates what seems like 15 city blocks by the size of the blast.  Then we’re treated to about 40 odd minutes of Grand Theft Auto kill-rampage style action (total randoms on the street getting gunned down right and left, plus he makes sure to target some folks that were pretty much huge dicks the day before so that was satisfying) culminating with a decently clever ending.

Bill isn’t interested in pulling together with his common man as equals and working as a whole, because in Bill’s mind, people aren’t equal, and most are just walking wastes using up natural resources to accomplish nothing in their lives.  He’s not just taking out revenge on jerkoff coffee shop clerks who don’t put enough foam in his “macchiato”, he’s doing the world a favour by taking out the trash so those who deserve to live can last a little longer with the dwindling resources we have left.  Seems like a pretty decent motive for a sociopathic spree killer, although I’m not certain his methods would really ensure he was only taking out the correct people since it all seemed pretty random.  Maybe Bill knew everyone in his town, and they were all just lazy apathetic sacs waiting to die, we don’t find out.  But I suppose considering he didn’t seem too hesitant gunning down unarmed people, it stands to reason that in ol’ Billy-boy’s eyes they were in fact “deserving” of their fates.  One thing I liked about this movie is that they don’t try to make you agree with what he’s doing like in say Falling Down (until he goes nutzoid at the end and tries to kidnap his daughter it's pretty clear the movie was designed to get your into William "D-fens" Foster's corner), they just present his wacko opinion, let his actions play out and you can decide if bloody murderous rampages involving many dead innocents are your thing or not (unless you regularly dress in a black tenchcoat and practice at firing ranges in your free time, I’m probably going with not).

The movies’ pretty decently acted, the blood was “real” fake blood blown from bags, the police station gets blown up, assholes get gunned down, bloody mayhem, coarse language, a funny interlude in a bingo hall, totally tasteless filmaking with a questionable moral message, what more could you want?  Well, I would’ve preferred if a steadycam was employed about 80% more of the time.  Especially because I was rather hung over while watching this movie, the ever shaking and moving hand held shots began to make me feel somewhat nauseous.  If the movie didn’t have as much else going for it, I don’t think I would’ve sat through it, so you’ve been forewarned if cinéma vérité is not your cup of tea.  If you are greening out on too much drugs this movie is definitely not high on my recommend list, and might  just over take WWE wrestling as the worst fucking shit you could possibly be watching right now.

Wow, Uwe seems like he’s maybe actually starting to get the hang of this movie thing, we’ll see how he fares with his sure to be tasteless Holocaust movie coming out soon, but for now the guy seems like he really is trying to make good movies these days, so if you’re still holding House of the Dead against him (and I don’t blame you) maybe throw on Rampage and give him another shot, you may just be surprised.

Check it out!