I am a freelance artist. The graphic at the top of the page is some of my handy work, so if you want to see more of that, head to the ART page. I am willing to do commissions for art and/or layouts (for CD booklets, DVD covers, etc) at a very reasonable fee. This may change if I become incredibly famous and my ego inflates to the point of my skull putting pressure on my brain, at which time my fees will become exorbitant in order to cover the medical bills. However you can all rest easy because that has yet to happen.


For art commissions I provide the original as well as a digital copy of the file either burned to disc or emailed or through drop box (depending on the file size) for your convenience. If the art is created digitally in the first place, the "original" will be the digital copy.

I also do layout work (CD's, DVD's, flyers, zine's, whatever). If you provide me the image files you want to use (or if it is mainly just text based with a background), I can make you a simple basic layout pretty cheap (if it takes me only a couple of hours then we're talking something like $50).

If you want something more elaborate than this, once again contact me and we'll work out the details.

For layout work I provide a digital copy of the file(s) burned to disc for your convenience.

Click the REPLACEMENT DVD COVERS link on the nav bar for an alphabeticl list of all of the Replacement DVD (and Bluray) covers that I have edited to slide in over top of your current shitty modern photoshop cover. This list will continue to grow, so if it isn't in there, check back later, or make a request via the CONT@CT section.

I think the animation below is a good analogy for movie companies tamporing with cover art. You see what happens when this chick tries to tamper with Chuck's steering, a swift backhand to the face, that's what!



I watch a lot of movies so I've dedicated a section of my site to that. I'll mostly be dealing with horror, exploitation, sci-fi, action, kung-fu and cartoons but I like some more cerebral artsy stuff too, so don't waste your time trying to tell me all the shit I like is garbage. has a strict no chick flick/romantic comedy policy in effect, so do not email me asking to watch and/or review these types of movies. If you do, my response will be something along these lines:


Head to the MOVIEZ section and I'll try my best to brainwash you into liking the same crap as me.

I could insult your intelligence by saying that the MUSICK section features reviews of some of the music I'm into (or some of the absolute trash I've been forced to listen to). The MUSICK section features reviews of music I'm into (and some absolute trash I've been forced to listen to). See I told you.

What you're gonna see is a fuck ton of reviews for underground punk and metal, with a smattering of industrial and electronic music, and a pinch of rock. If you're looking for the latest reviews of the backdoor boys or transexual gaga, look elsewhere. Again, this will be added to continually, and if you like you can make recommendations for albums to check out via the CONT@CT section. If I think it's worth my time I might check it out and review it on the site.


I am the writer of such literary masterpieces as "The Code of the Burger", and "Pull Your Fucking Pants Up". For more of that, be sure to click the BULLSHIT link above.

I am also in the midst of writing a novel. If I feel like it, I may throw some snippets from that into this section as well to tantalize you with (and shamelessly promote myself at the same time).

If you're offended by anything I've written in the BULLSHIT section, I guess you shouldn't have gone to a section of a site called BULLSHIT, dumbass.


I've taken the liberty of doing all the legwork for you, my visitors, by providing you with a selection of links that are mandatory viewing if you want grow up to be a well adjusted member of society. Go to the LINKS page for quick access to all sorts of cool and useful shit.


If you want to talk at me, go to the CONT@CT section and shoot me an email.

And now for a random of pic of a demon that I work with at my job:


Click on the thumbnail for a faceful of DEVIL YEE!!